Good Things...

Was all set to do the Cloverdale Half Marathon today but the website threw me off a bit (carry your own cell phone we can't provide EMS) and it was the first annual event. I think i'll wait until next year after they work out the kinks.  It was also $100 smackers which I will gladly spend instead on a new pair of shoes or vest I am eyeing.  So I planned to get up at 6:30am and out the door at home by 7am.  The problem with long weekend runs are that weekends are so gloriously lazy at our house and I hate to leave the nest.  I always end up leaving to run about 10am, when it's hot & my belly is too full of pancakes, UGH.  Kiddo is too young for the crazy weekend soccer shuffle yet & we are notorious for not accepting weekend activity invites, just so we can do..NOTHING.  Still, I had to get in a long run today and it was predicted to be warm so I had to make myself GO and the earlier the better.

6:30am was waaaaaay too early though, so I chilled, made breakfast, had some coffee, and ignored my slight migraine headache (since I have been getting them like every single morning, they have become a bore).  I geared up to get out the door.  By the time I was ready to roll I had decided I would just do 5-6 miles and save the long run for mid-week.  I strapped on my new camelback fanny pack water carrier (every single hand-held I have bought I have loathed after a few runs, my arm gets tired, my stride gets thrown off & I end up sticking it in the back of my pants, *awkward*).

8:45am I started off on the Rodota for a no frills no hills run.  The morning was still cool, and I could see hot air balloons landing & vineyards to my left...there are worse ways to spend a Sunday morning!  At first I didn't like the Camelback, (I love to run free~no packs, no phone, nothing but my tiny shuffle  clipped on my bra) I could feel the weight (lord knows I don't need to carry any more weight when running, I'm slow enough as it is!) and it cinched tightly at my waist and I could feel my belly pooching out the bottom below the strap.  Sigh....gotta let the vanity go though, I know for me I can NEVER run vain or it will be a terrible run, thru and thru...so I had to just let it GO.  I did like the tightness of the pack against my waist, I can never put anything below my waist (on my hips) since it will flop around (with a big backside but smaller waist, everything rides up, always) and anything floppy is a run killer.  So I had to pull an Urkel and cinch the Camelback high under my ribs, I'm sure I looked like a fashion maven..NOT.

After a few miles I settled into the Camelback and the way it hugged my lower back felt awesome.  My mind wandered to Caz hugs and how everyone there always squeezes you tight and rubs your back and after having that visual I think I ran the next few miles with a huge grin on my face.  The run was EXTRA-ordinary...body felt amazing & strong, no side aches, barely a twinge from my ankles, everything felt so aligned and again, strong strong strong.  BLISS.  Eleven miles and it felt like a 10k as I wrapped it up, big win!

I kept thinking about the long ride to Dillion beach I had taken on Friday with Miss Amber.  I was a bit stressed about the time since I had to meet kiddo & my folks and I am looking forward to a repeat ride when I don't have to look at my watch.  It was an amazing ride, gorgeous weather & conversation, hilly & long.  I was so surprised and pleased at how I powered up most the hills.  My legs were barking near the final hills but overall, I felt so strong & fit.  I have come so far from that first ride a year ago, when Blondie and I rode Rodota & a little bit of Stony Point road & I was a nervous wreck, I think any soreness I had from that ride was from anxiety not fitness.  I feel so differently now and that has to do with one thing: Getting out there repeatedly, facing the fear monster & moving ahead.  KEEP CALM~CARRY ON....this has never been my strong suit but man, have I changed a lot in the past year.  Crazy awesome.

One thing I have been thinking about during my running (ok, I think about a bazillion things but...) is Volleyball.  In Jr.High I was on the volleyball team and it was hard & I'm not even sure why I was on the team, maybe it was because my friends did it.  At the time I thought our coach was insanely demanding & evil  (but I was not naturally athletic & I was shy, two very difficult things to be on a team sport).  I did not give up though, I did the endless liners, I swallowed my fear during games and bumped the ball and also became a winner when it came to serving.  I had a sneak serve, while all the other girls jumped up and smacked it open handed (way too athletic for me) I hit it softly underhanded & the ball would ...just barely cruise over the net and then not be returned, it was my one & only stellar move.  I basically just showed up, tried to be invisible & not get hit in the face with the ball all while smiling and appearing relaxed (yeah right!)  I really didn't enjoy any aspect of the game but I wanted to be a part of the team and so I smiled, joked and just tried to act like I belonged.  After the season ended and there was awards night, I just sat back and watched everyone else get their kudos, which was cool for me, I didn't mind.  The only awards I ever got were academic ribbons, for things like ordering the most books every month from scholastic book club or for being the only one who honestly liked the 1950's Romeo & Juliet movie they showed in English class.  The volleyball coach handed out all the awards & then was talking about the final award which was for the coaches award or sportsmanship award, I can't recall.  The award sounded awesome though, it was for team spirit & commitment & a positive attitude...overall it was for having a winning personality even if you weren't the most athletic or coordinated person on the team.  I gotta admit in the back of my mind I was praying about how cool it would feel to win an award like that some day...and then she called MY name.  MY name...I wasn't even positive she knew my name, that is how invisible I tried to be or felt I was.  I had never been awarded a trophy in my life, let alone anything associated with athletics or commitment or spirit.  It was an amazing feeling, I'm not sure I really took it all in at the time.  I was in Jr.High too so maybe I didn't really care all that much at the time.  Well...yeah I did.

I still have that trophy.  Now when I'm running I think about it, how I unexpectedly got an award for just being myself, for giving it a try & being funny & smiling even though my stomach was in knots and most of the time I was sure someone would yell from the bleachers "what is SHE doing out there on the court?!?!"  Yet, I was OUT THERE.  I got an award for just being me & apparently me was good enough back then and it is even better now that I actually believe it :-)